Instant Replay

     I don't know why the memory came. Maybe I saw something. Maybe I heard something. Maybe I smelled something. But suddenly I was reliving a past movie that I never wanted to watch again. Waves of pain, anger, and disappointment surged through my mind, my body and emotion. Finally my spirit got involved and spoke to me.

     "Forgiveness is the answer. Since you experienced it again you need forgiveness again." But I didn't want to. Forgiveness seemed to make what had been done unimportant. If I forgave then it made the deed okay. It wasn't okay. It hurt deeply. It fractured a friendship. It changed the future.

     Finally, I realized that my pride was making me refuse forgiveness. I thought that this offense made me higher than the laws that God had set up. 

     I John 1:9 said that If I confessed and agreed with him that it was sin then he would forgive and cleanse from all unrighteousness. 

     I painfully went through each part of the incident and confessed. Then I forgave myself. Actually I  finally realized that He had cleansed me, and it was over. He was not going to remember it. So why should I let my shame and disappointment bring it up.

Scripture: Jeremiah 31:34 "For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more."